Hacking into computers and systems is one of those practices that we all deplore, but it’s a bit like burglary: we sympathise with the victims and condemn the perpetrators.

But when we ourselves are the victims, we want the perpetrators to expire in a cellarful of rats.

I got hacked. They got into my emails, took my address book and sent around the following message:

This message is coming to you with great depression due to my state of discomfort. I came down here to Manila, Philippines with my family for a short vacation but unfortunately, we were mugged and robbed at the park of the hotel where we stayed. All cash, credit cards and cell phones were stolen off us but luckily for us we still have our lives and passports. We've been to the embassy and the Police here but they're not helping issues at all and our flight leaves in less than 12hrs from now but we are having problems settling the hotel bills and the hotel manager won't let us leave until we settle the bills about 1600 pounds. Can you help us out? Get back to me immediately to let you know the easiest way to get the fund to us. We are depressed at the moment.

d All 2,000 names and addresses got the message. I had phone calls from as far away as New Zealand, text messages and – tentatively, because they didn’t know if it was a scam or not – by email. The worst thing was that the scammers wiped out my address book after sending out their plea for money, so that I couldn’t send around a message warning everyone that it was fraudulent.

Losing that address book was a disaster! Now I am attempting to rebuild it.

Interestingly, I know of no-one who actually fell for it. Four people admitted that they responded with questions, but quickly became skeptical when they didn’t get an answer to “What’s your wife’s name?” or “where did we go for dinner the last time you visited?”

Many of my so-called friends allege that they did, indeed, pay up and please would I now reimburse them in used £20 notes. One message I got pretty well summed up why the scam failed: “We know your family are all grown up and left home so you wouldn’t go away with all of them – and certainly not to Manila. And a Brit would never use ‘cell  phone’, you’d have used ‘mobile phone’. And anyway, the English was so bad……”.

Moral of the story: Build plenty of firewalls into your email system; think logically before you send money to a ‘friend in need’ – ask yourself “would he really have contacted ME?”

As for the cellarful of rats, I have changed that into skinning alive, slowly, with a blunt knife…